Toseef's Blog

It's funny how quickly time goes when you're in bed zz ~ texted in [date] [time]

Saturday 13th December 2008 01:41:17 AM

wedding menu-eggs flour oil ketchup

My cousin was showing me this vid of some local boys he knows, and although I laughed at first, now I almost feel sorry for him. This is the price he pays for getting married and having such wonderful friends who celebrate it at his expense.

Best line has to be at 3:18 when he says "I can't even fucking see where I'm going!"

10 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Tuesday 2nd December 2008 11:52:08 AM

its all about sleeping

Alright, I've been slacking with this blog and everything else in life and its slightly dawning on me that I need to do something.

To be continued ... (excellent suggestion from Abz, so why not)

back

So anyway, not been doing much despite having all the time in the world. I think today has been the only time when I've woken up early, got to uni and actually gone to the morning lecture. And now I'm feeling sleepy but just trying to keep awake for the next one.

A bit of backtracking here, I've moved into the next door house since the beginning of rozay and it has been simply awesome. Three months of sleeping and I've only just decided to wake up and do something (but I don't know what).

Best thing of living alone is no-one bothers you at all, wake up when you want to (if at all), parents are not-so-in-ya-face, stay out/up late without anyone calling where you are, and having friends over whenever you want. Oh, the best thing by far has to be rolling out of bed nanga and walking about free as god made ya. Freeeedom like you've never known it before ...

Er yeah, I've been sleeping alot and believe it or not its quite addictive - most of the time I only wake up because of the warm drool foaming in my mouth. So serously stupid. I had this one week where I was sleeping till 3pm and by the time I'd had breakfast and sat down for 2 minutes, it was dark outside. I can't believe winter is here and that it gets dark by 4pm. Ridiculous.

Another thing I'm slightly concerned about is the lack of things that concern me. I mean, I don't care about anything. I don't wanna work, I don't wanna go to uni, I can't be asked doing sports, hell I can't even be bothered chasing girls. Surely this is not normal for a 22 year old?

I wanna go Dubai, yeah thats what I want. And live there, not liking UK so much right now.

6 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Tuesday 11th November 2008 08:58:52 PM

eight bottles (or should i say att botla)

My eldest cousin always forwards me text messages, sometimes they're funny, sometimes they're not and mostly they're riddles like the one I got today. Usually I can figure them out but today I'm not having much luck. Even the sizzling brain power of Abz couldn't help me so I'm posting it here.

>> Two men and a woman were stuck in a lift during a heatwave. 1 of the men had 3 bottles of water with him and the other had 5. They shared the eight bottles of water equally between the 3 of them. Once they had been freed, the woman gave the men £8 as payment. What is the fairest method of dividing the money.

Now I'm thinking why the hell did the woman have to be such a b1tch and give the men £8 ... cos knowing the riddle but not the answer will get me thinking at odd hours of the night (when I could be using that valuable time to think of something else).

You wouldn't know the answer by any chance would you?

9 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Sunday 9th November 2008 11:54:49 PM

motivation

Haven't done any proper blogging in a long time I know, for reasons I don't quite know myself. I'll try to fill the blanks some other time but for now I'll jump straight into today. Went to uni today (yes, on a Sunday!) with Abz, and although it started with good intentions we finished before we even started. Typical scenario when it comes down to us two.

After watching Inside the Saudi Kingdom on bbc iplayer for a whole hour and surfing aimlessly for another, I decided to open Word only to write a few lines.

Abz: "Tos, what are we doing here ... on a Sunday?! Man, we don't even come in when we're supposed to yet here we are pretending to do something."

The guy speaketh wisely, and when he does I listen. Especially when he says what I'm already thinking ... and so that was the end of that little trip to uni. Here we are concerned about getting uni work done but not concerned enough to actually do it. On the way home Abz is trying to figure out why we can't be like other students and what in the world is wrong with us.

"You know what our problem is? We don't have any motivation to do ANYTHING"

The boy was on form and making sense all the way, at times like these all I can do is nod agreeingly.

I don't know what we're going to do, but I do know neither one of us takes life seriously and it'd be fair to say we're not going to get anywhere anytime soon (if at all). That's the harsh reality of it.

Hmmm :(

Oh, watch Inside the Saudi Kingdom it's quite good!

4 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Wednesday 29th October 2008 01:10:11 PM

Give a little to save a lot

I was jus surfing today and came across Pink Hijab Day. The blog owner, Jana, is helping raise funds for cancer research as well as raise breast cancer awareness.

Did you know that asian women in the uk are least likely to see a doctor if they suspect breast cancer? Quite alarming really. The worst thing is, this disease could claim anyone ... it could be your mother, sister, wife or daughter. A horrifying thought.

By no means am I saying that guys aren't affected by cancer (as indestructible as we may seem at times) and the only reason I'm directing this more towards women is the significance of Pink Hijab Day.

You can use donatetobreastcancer.org/pinkhijabdayuk to make a donation, so go on, give a little.

And hopefully, you'll save a lot.

8 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Monday 7th July 2008 11:25:11 PM

a little car accident

I was driving back from work yesterday listening to the radio when I heard a song I hadn't heard in ages, it was one of those weird ones which makes no sense at all yet you think it's amazingly wicked. Y'know one of those which you sing-a-along to and immediately has you in a funny mood.

The song in question is "A little time by The Beautiful South". Check it out ...

"You need a little room for your big head,
Don't you, don't you!"

LOL

So there I was stretching out the last verse to the song when I approached the last set of traffic lights and expected the car in front to go on amber (lights turned from green) but it stopped! I was totally surprised and foot the brakes as fast as I could, arrggghh car wasn't stopping so using my clever little brain I pressed harder. Oh bad move, it had been raining so instead the car skidded ... right into the back bumper of the other car. And it made a loud crashing noise too, worse thing was it was all in slow motion and I'd expected the crash 5 - 10 seconds before it happened. Pure agony it was.

I got out of the car and noticed the person driving was a middle aged woman, she seemed OK but I asked her anyway if she was.

"I can't believe this has happened to me, today of all days"
"Well I am sorry but it couldn't be helped, it's totally my fault if you want to claim"

She begins to inspect the damage on the back of her bumper and very shockingly there is none (maybe because she has a new car and they build 'em better?) - not even a scratch!

"I don't know why I bothered to wake up today, I woke up this morning and found someone had broken my wing mirror"
I stayed quite to let her vent
"Now this is all I need. Can I have your details? The bumper seems OK, but just in case"

We exchanged details and just to reassure her I pointed to whereabouts I lived. "Yeah I know Savile Town well, I was born and raised here" I was a little surprised to say the least.

I drove off thinking I can't believe I've had my very own car crash, and I wasn't worried about anything at all. So much that I didn't even bother to tell any family members when I got home.

That song still puts me in a funny mood though ... if only I had a little more time I wouldn't have bumped somebody.

13 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Wednesday 2nd July 2008 03:47:06 PM

change the fucking subject

So I been a little MIA, I hope you don't mind but there was something I wanted to get off my chest (and I don't mean the hair though it has been bugging me lately).

Desi's, or Deshi's, however you wanna fucking pronounce it - it all boils down to the same thing, y'know what I'm talking about, those South Asian retards. The conversations. The attitude. The mentality. The shitty lifestyle.

And to quite frank with you all, we're not helping. We say we're "modern", "liberal", "intellectual" and what not, but really we're just succumbing to the information and lifestyle that we've had passed down to us. Not ever the thought to question and challenge them on their views, oh no (because that would be too much trouble) but instead we'll disagree and go along with it. Yup, that makes sense.

But then it gets better, or so we think, setting up blogs and shouting "hey look at me I'm a desi!" and telling everyone how nice of a guy or gal you are. Then after a certain period of time we move ten steps backwards, get into a huddle, hold hands and whisper the same lame words that our elders muttered at our age ...

"So when are you getting married?"
"You like that guy don't you?"
"Tell your parents to find you a nice girl"
"Koee larkee pasand hai?"
"I know someone who'd be perfect for you"

etc etc.

The only difference is we're modern, remember? Meaning instead of coming to your house for chai and biscuits, I'll send you a quick text saying the exact same thing. Or send an email, have a messenger conversation, leave a blog comment, or even facebook your ass. It's still the same thing, I'm your desi uncle and you're my annoying auntie shaanty (honay walee). We haven't evolved much, us desis, except maybe technologically.

Everywhere you turn someone's talking about it. If it's not about yourself then it's about someone else, nevertheless the fucking subject is alive and kicking. It seems that's all we ever talk about - how lame and lifeless does that make us?

The content of the conversation is ridiculous in itself ... "This guy's not married or that girl's not married" big stupid hoohaa and like I fucking care! To make matters worse girls themselves will be like "omg I'm X years of age (usually in their 20's) and I should be married". Should? According to whom? Them?

It goes a bit further than this though, the girl herself will beat herself up over it, have sleepless nights and even cry herself to sleep. A few nights of this and eventually it leads to depression. All because of what? Simply the people around her. Put this very same girl in a different environment and the last thing she'd think about would be marriage.

And so I could go on about this forever, I'm not going to because I know it's not going to make an iota of a difference. What I am going to say is change the fucking subject cos chances are we're all going to get laid - whether we like it or not in some cases!

11 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Tuesday 20th May 2008 06:27:22 PM

pini pom pom

I wanted to delete this blog.

But I couldn't do it.

So I left it, as is.

Truth be told, the pom pom had left me.

What's toseef.com without the pom pom?

Exactly.

Then a few incidents occurred.

Went to a cousins house

Where we convinced my BIL

To smoke a 'plain cigar' - "tastes exactly like a cigarette" we told him

He wasn't having any of it

"It's an original Cuban import" I told him, "rolled on the thighs of virgins"

15 mins later we have a BIL who is chatting a lot of shit

Oops.

Other day, went to a see a cousin who has his own flat

and lives alone

instead of knocking like normal people

had the bright idea to

throw pieces of wood inside his open top bedroom window

where we knew he'd be sleeping

10 mins later he wakes up

"You broke my lamp!"

Oops

"You effin nutters! How old you?!"

Which reminded me that I am now 22

and shouldn't be doing such idiotic things

that's when I realised

that the pom pom never really left

just sleeping, like i does

overslept, like i does

and will wake up when the time is right

and present itself where it must

and that there's no stopping the voice in my head

referred to often as the 'pini pom pom'

10 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Friday 4th April 2008 08:36:21 PM

pardon my lame joke

As most of you guessed, I'm not really getting married (thankfully). I hadn't posted in a while and then thought "oh maybe I should update my blog", plus a few people where beginning to bug me about it aswell. The problem with writing a blog entry when you've not done so in a while is that you don't really know where to begin. And just when I was about to write something I realised that it's the 1st of April, and on that note posted a little April Fool's joke related to the post that had been sitting on the front page for two months. I was surprised to find that some people actually fell for it, c'mon peeps you know me better than this!

Y'know something? I have a lot to say about desi's and marriage but I'm going to save all that for some other day. Oh and here's something I found out a while back (and it may surprise you aswell) ... my dad knows about this blog and I cringe to think he may even read it at times. Yes, you read that right. I don't know how he found out but I have a fair idea, probably saw it in the address bar on the home computer. Aaaaah. But I've decided I've got nothing to hide (ahem, ahem) and will speak my mind as usual. Besides, I've always said this is a family friendly blog - never did I think they'd read it though!

On some other news my BIL (brother-in-law) is here from America and we always have a ton of guests over, not only that but we have to go places too. Yippee. Not.

4 commentsPosted by Piniyini

Tuesday 1st April 2008 11:35:58 PM

I'm getting married !

I don't know how this happened but it's happening, I can't even believe it myself! Hmmm, where to start? Well, you know my previous post ... it had a bit of truth to it apparently. My parents hooked me up with this girl who are good family friends, at first I was like "No no no, I'm not going for some arranged shit" but when I saw her picture I couldn't say no. This chick ticks all the right boxes and has me all raring to go, this girl is FLY.

I'm so busy these day's it's unbelievable. I'll post more about this later on, it's late and I'm tired and I promised a few people I'd update (namely Feesa who said she'd beat me up if I didn't) ... will post more soon :)

10 commentsPosted by Piniyini